important things peru: school

In the spirit of staying in on this friday night to study once again, I thought I would make this third installment of important things peru about the lovely university I attend, La Catolica.

To understand school here, do the following:
Step 1: Think of the basic organization of a university in the States, like UW Madison.

Step 2: Forget all the basic organization of a university in the States, like UW Madison, it will do you no good here.


CLASS/TEACHER:
Madison: Class size 300. Trying to meet with your teacher is like trying to get penciled in for lunch with the Queen: Difficult, but possible.
La Catolica: Class size 25. Trying to meet with your teacher is like trying to catch a unicorn. Impossible. Unless you are on some kind of drug. Then maybe you can imagine it. Still, imagining will get you no help on finding theses for your three 15-page final papers.
(Does anyone else see something wrong with this picture??)


LIBRARY SYSTEM:
Madison: Need a book? Go to the library. Find it yourself. Browse if you like. Check it out. Hang on to it for a while, eventually give it back.
La Catolica: Need a book? Go to the library. Write your name, student ID, book ID, author, title, date, signature, name of your first born, favorite season and the square root of 3423294 on a tiny sheet of paper. Hand it to grumpy looking man along with your ID card. Check it out. Return it within 3 days (yes 3) or else your card will be frozen and you can't check out books for a week.
(Um...really?)


CLASS MATERIALS:
Madison: Buy expensive books or receive packets from teachers. Sell back books at the end of the year. Get a little money back to go spend on beer to drown your sorrows that you only got $16 back when you paid $400.
La Catolica: Teacher scribbles article/book name on board. Go to the photocopier and tell them you need one copy of [insert book title] for [insert teacher's name]'s class. Wait anywhere from 5 minutes- 1 hour to get your copy. Extra $ to get it spiral backed. Read it, never get to sell it back or use it again. This sounds not bad right? WRONG. This is what you have to do about every week. For every class. Over and over. The best part is when the teacher assigns a book, but doesn't leave it in the photocopier. This means you get to RUN to the library before the other kids in your class get there, check out the ONE copy of that book, and bring it to the photocopier (and return it in 3 days of course). If the book isn't available at the library? Tough luck.

Oh Peru.
Well, I must get back to reading my 250 page book (or, well, photocopy of a book) on the history of colonial views in spanish america!

Besos, abrazos, y happier posts to come!

[thanks to alicia groh, from whom i took ideas for this post!]

important things: palabras

I hope you all had the chance to read the first installment of "important things"!

(Please, keep in mind with these posts that this is all in good fun, I like Peru, love my friends here, and respect the people, this is just to give a little -sarcastic- view into my life here.)

With no further adieu, I present take 2,
"Important Things Peru: Palabras"

I've found when going to a country, it's good to know the native language. (smart, right? yes, it's how I got into Madison, thanks.) Knowing the slang and common phrases? Also good, but much harder to prepare for. I've been in Peru for almost 2 months now, and have compiled a list of common phrases/words that are must-knows for this dear country.
So here goes:

"¡Qué rico!" I have put this first because it is by far the thing I hear most often. All the time in fact. About everything. Gah. This literally would translate to "How rich!" and is most often (but not limited to) describing foods.
El jugo (juice) tonight? RICO!
La sopa (soup) tonight? RIQUISIMA!
El postre (dessert) tonight? RIQUSISISISIMA!
Pisco sours, Vino tinto? I'll let you take a guess at it
(I get a rich dessert, but orange juice? dude it just tastes like Tang.)
As you can tell, it doesn't com.plete.ly grind my gears or anything.

"¡Qué raro!" Literal translation: How rare! It would be a nice phrase if it was also, similar to its sister phrase above used every once and a while. But it is used often, and in situations where something a liiittle kinder than just "how odd" is due.
A friend is late to dinner? QUE RARO! (understandable)
Men with guns outside the house? QUE RARO! (not "que TERRIFYING?)
World War III is starting in Peru? QUE RARO! (not DUCK AND COVER?)

"Chévere" Translation: Awesome! Sweet! Cool! If you are young and in Peru, know this word. You will use it/hear it all the time.

"Chelas" Translation: Beer. Of course, as we all know, the most important words to know when going to any country are "bathroom" and "beer". Sure, you can use "cerveza" here, but "chela" is the slang.

" xD, :S, =S, u_u" Now, while most of us got over the "emoticon" phase when we were 7th graders on AIM, Peruvian youth seems to have missed the memo.

"China/Chino" Anyone of any even remotely Asian-looking descent. But according to them it's not them being racist. Hm.

"Broaster" GAH. This one gets me almost as much as "que rico". In the USA, nowadays a lot of the frat types use the word "Bro" to call each other by. Here is Peru, they use "broaster". Take the amount I hate hearing the word "bro" in the USA and multiply it by 16. Luckily, the guys I hang out with here don't use it. Much like the great guys of 525 back in Madison. Thank. God.

"Que Vergüenza" Now, in good old Spanish 101 we were taught this means "embarrassing". Thus, when my roommate was telling a peruvian friend about a robbery and he replied "que verguenza" to her my immediate reaction was "thanks for the sympathy, jackass". Turns out here it also means "how shameful". He was being nice. Oops! My bad.

Alright, this should be sufficient for now...

Besos y Abrazos!

important things: PDA

For those of you that don't already know about comedian Demetri Martin, do yourself a favor and check out his stand up comedy acts, or his new show, Important Things.
Each week on his show he chooses a topic to focus the jokes/skits on. Thus, I have decided to do that here in Peru.

So for my first installment in the series, may I present:
Important Things Peru: PDA

Public Displays of Affection (PDA).
At certain times, and in certain places in the States, certain PDA is accepted and allowed.
Hand holding in a park? Yes.
Little kiss on a picnic? Sure!
Under the shirt at a funeral? No.

Here in Peru, they have similar values.
Oh wait, I'm sorry, take out the similar and replace it with "completely different".

Here is a brief breakdown to how I feel about Peru's PDA at my university, Pontificia:

Hand holding while walking to class: Cute

Little kisses before going to class: So cute I could puke.

Making out in front of the room I am trying to enter: Gross.

Feeling each other up in class next to me: Puke.

Sucking on each others' fingers DURING class: So gross I could puke.

Being practically horizontal outside the class I'm leaving: So gross I would like to shake them so hard they puke.

As you can see, clearly PDA here doesn't bother me at all! (Man I hope sarcasm bodes well over blogs).

Hope you all have a fun, safe, and PDA free weekend. The roommates and I will be in Ayacucho until Monday!

Besos y Abrazos (more than usual, unfortunately)